Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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