You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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