Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
