It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So vagazzling was a success
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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