So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
