i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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