i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
