You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I love having hate sex.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
