I'm really into asian looking animals
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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