Taylor Swift is so right about you.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
True strength comes from lack of pants
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
