I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
pop tarts are not kleenex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
