You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
