i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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