Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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