I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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