May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
