I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
