You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize