Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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