If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
vagina is talking i cant
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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