is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
