I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
