Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
