He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
