but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
