i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
