And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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