Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
