they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize