I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
handjob tips. give me some.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
