He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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