Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize