the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my shit smells like andre
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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