The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
