do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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