I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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