I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
