Screwed.edu
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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