3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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