I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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