i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
