I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
