he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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