I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
These tits shall not be calmed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
