Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
