Will you blow on my dice?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
