God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize