nut hugger
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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