he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize