dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
