I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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