nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
