Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
