His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
how does that bad decision feel?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
