are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
