oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
