So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
