he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
